Starting a gluten free diet

Dealing with family and friends

Starting a gluten free diet is hard enough, without having to deal with family members that do not seem to. Read on to see what you can do to help.

It is not only you, as a coeliac sufferer, that has to adjust when starting a gluten free diet. Your family will also have plenty to come to terms with as their life is about to change also.

Firstly, of course, as Coeliac disease is genetic they may need to undergo tests to see if they have it too. Your brothers, sisters and children, even your parents have a high chance of the disease even if no symptoms are showing.

Even if clear of the disease themselves, they will need to learn about a new diet, offer support where needed, and most of all try to appreciate that life has changed forever for you.

How will they react?

It can be hard for them to understand that a disease can be controlled by diet alone. We are so used to popping pills or having an operation to cure whatever ails us. In this situation avoiding gluten is the only treatment that can help.

Your family could react in a number of ways when you are starting a gluten free diet. They may be helpful and vigilant, reading labels when shopping for gluten free grocery store foods or trying to eat gluten laden foods outside of the house where possible. On the other hand problems could arise.

Be aware that it is not unknown for partners to deliberately contaminate a meal "just to see if it makes you ill!" If this happens it is usually when you are starting a gluten free diet. It is unlike to happen once they can see the benefits of the diet and how avoiding gluten is making you better.

Don't get paranoid!

Mistakes will happen to begin with, mostly unintentional. For someone who has never come into contact with coeliac disease before there are dangers that they just won't think of. They may think that you are just being fussy when you refuse to eat a meal they have prepared when you know that they have used the wrong soy sauce; or when you saw them strain your gluten free pasta in the same colander they used to strain their own; or when they sliced the vegetables on the same board they previously used to spread their bread.

Be reassured. They are not out to get you! They are not doing it on purpose. It just doesn't occur to them that they have done something wrong. Maybe if you gently instruct them of a safer way to do things they will remember next time.

Put yourself in their place

Try to think if you were in their position. Lets imagine something really silly. All of a sudden your son comes home and says he cannot wear anything blue. His clothes must not touch other blue clothes or he won't be able to wear them. They can't have a pattern on which has any blue in it. He can't eat off of blue plates or drink out of blue cups. Daft isn't it? You would find it hard to understand how it could hurt him. Especially if he showed no outward symptoms. But what if he turned blue and couldn't breathe every time he was exposed to the colour? You could see immediately when damage had occurred.

Of course this is a ridiculous example but the trials and tribulations of starting a gluten free diet and all it entails can seem just as silly to someone who doesn't know anything about it. "Why can't I use the same knife? Why can't I cook your meat on the same grill?" they may ask. "So what if you get a runny tummy, we all get them now and then!"

They may not have the time or the desire to know all about your disease. They may just want to get on with life and pretend this change hasn't occurred. They may want to prove that it is all in your head, that starting a gluten free diet is a fad that you will grow out of. They may be annoyed that you won't go out for a meal with them at the local fast food outlet. They may be worried that if they try to cook for you they will get it wrong.

Educate them patiently

Patience and a little education may be the key. You know your own family and the best approach to take to help them understand the problems and the consequences of not sticking rigidly to the gluten free diet. Try not to panic and shout at them if they make a mistake. While you are learning the ropes, you will probably make plenty of your own.